Two wheeled terrorists

I’m going to have a rant here about cyclists. Now I know it won’t be particularly politically correct to rip the wassisname out of our two wheeled brethren, but I think to use the world war one analogy, someone has to go ‘over the top,’ and I suppose it might as well be me!

Every day when I drive to or from work or the stables at this time of year, mostly in the dark, I have to dodge cyclists with totally inadequate lighting on their machines. Usually clad in black, (of course they wouldn’t consider wearing a florescent jacket or anything like that) they are virtually invisible until you get right on top of them. Now when motorists squish one of these black clad and obviously ninja cyclists it is clearly pointed out by the media that another martyr has fallen in the holy ranks of the brotherhood of the bicycle; cruelly slain by the evil polluting world-destroying motorist.

Now hang about here for a moment, who died and made the cyclist god? It seems that every Lycra clad, mud splattered mental degenerate who can cram a carbon fibre bedpan on his or her head, suddenly considers themselves an eco-warrior and feels empowered to look down on the rest of society.

These pedalling angels ignore traffic regulations and the Highway Code daily, secure in the knowledge that as savers of the planet such petty considerations do not apply to them. They may on occasions splatter the odd ‘poor old dear’ when they take to the pavement to speed them up past the congestion caused by us ungodly car drivers, but they consider it mere collateral damage in their greater struggle.

Free from the requirement to have third party insurance, unencumbered with the need for identifying number plates and anonymous in their Lycra and masks they prowl our countryside and towns alike, smug in the knowledge that they are the new chosen ones and they shall inherit the earth!